Double Wide Trailers: 'G.I. Joe'

Posted Wednesday, April 25, 2012 at 11:34 AM Central
Last updated Wednesday, April 25, 2012 at 11:39 AM Central

by John Couture

Do you know when the last time I actually watched G.I. Joe? Me neither, but I sure as hell know that it was in the animated form of my childhood in the early to mid 1980s.

So, I guess I'm trying to say that my memory has gone a bit hazy since then, but I remember the general gist of it. There was the good side, the Joes, and their arch-enemy Cobra led by Cobra Commander.

I also remember that were a few iconic characters on both sides that despite being in war never failed to survive to fight another day. Think Storm Shadow, Snake Eyes, Duke, Scarlett, Roadblock, and so on.

From there it really gets fuzzy. I know that each member of the team was a specialist of some sort that brought their own unique talents to the team. You know, so they could teach us in a heavy-handed manner that teamwork is great and the whole is far greater than the sum of its parts.

I also know that my own trepidation aside about tapping my childhood to make a quick buck, a proper G.I. Joe would be pretty damn awesome to see on the big screen. Disclaimer: I have not seen G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra and I hope that I never have to sit through it as it most assuredly would rank right up there with water boading in the ladder of unpleasant torture techniques.

And who knows? Maybe G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is a great film that lived up to extremely high expectations and delivered precisely what every fan wanted to see. However, based on a quick perusal of relevant reviews and critiques of the time, I'm pretty sure this is not the case.

And yet, they must have done something right in order to earn a sequel, no? Well, box office receipts to the tune of $150 million will do that for ya.

So, from where does my utter disdain for this movie stem? I'm glad you asked. Almost all of my vitriol for the film comes from the trailer below. Go ahead refresh your memory.

Man, I still shudder in pain when I watch that trailer and can only think that the full movie is more of the same and further proof that Hollywood has lost it gourd when it comes to greenlighting movies. Ah, but this is a "Double Wide" piece, so you know that there's more to the story, eh?

You are correct. Usually, we save the "Double Wide" moniker for remakes. It's a nice little piece that we can use to compare and contrast two different trailers and posters from two different time periods. But here, we are going to look at the trailer you just watched and compare it to the trailer for its sequel, G.I. Joe: Retaliation.

I've gone on the record before as saying that the early trailers for Retaliation seem to succeed where the previous movie failed, but this latest trailer is a true home run. Even more, it might actually get me up off the couch and go see this film in theaters.

Yes, that's how good this trailer is.

But, what's a good "Double Wide" if we didn't compare and contrast them a bit, eh? Right off the bat, you'll notice that the trailer plays a lot more like a Mission: Impossible movie which isn't all too surprising since Paramount owns both franchises.

Even all the way down to using a double for a known commodity (in Mission: Impossible they used masks, here it looks like some sort of cloning device), the film just has that certain swagger that served Ethan Hunt well for many years now. Beyond that though, it's the little differences that stand out.

In the original trailer, they destroy the Eiffel Tower and I was nonplussed. I don't know if it had to do with the prevailing general attitude toward France at the time the first movie was released or simply just of concern for their fate.

But this time, London is the target (notice the international flair of their targets?) and the destruction is truly jarring. So much so, that I had to rewind the trailer just to make sure that my eyes didn't deceive me. They did not.

Beyond all of that though, there's just a feel and style in the new trailer that screams "Yo, Joe!" Even the cathartic opening where they seemingly kill off most of the Joes from the last movie as a physical manifestation of their apology for Rise of Cobra feels like it could have come straight from the cartoon that I enjoyed so much as a child.

Is the trailer perfect? No, far from it. I've really soured towards Bruce Willis over the years and just seeing him pop up in the trailer, and the sizable role that his cameo in the trailer alludes to, fills me up with a bit of apprehension.

But it's miles better than the trailer for Rise of Cobra and I think it's pretty obvious. On that note, I'll let you watch and decide for yourself.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation hits theaters on June 29 and just makes this Summer even more massive. Let us know what you thought of the trailer and if you plan on seeing the film in theaters.